A few years ago I was attending a management-training course, back in the days when banks had enough money to think those courses were useful. During one session I was asked to name the three people I admired most in history. My choices were Alexander Hamilton, Abraham Lincoln and Steve Jobs. While the first two would not come as a surprise to people who know me, the choice of Steve Jobs probably needs some explaining. Since the main goal of management courses was to sound cleverer than your colleagues, I marveled at how Steve revolutionized whole industries - he is most well known for desktop computing, music and today mobile phones. But for a person who opted to have children a little later than many, Steve Jobs’ impact on me was deeper and more personal. I just wasn't at liberty to say why to my hard-charging, mostly male investment banking colleagues.
To understand, we need to rewind 20 years. Dina and I met in university, when she was a freshman and I was a sophomore. By the time we left school, we were pretty sure that we would get married. We were less sure on when we would have children. You have to remember I grew up in Scranton and boarded my first airplane at the ripe young age of 22. I had a world to see. As for Dina, the lack of any experience around children meant she was happy to go with my plan. So we graduated from university, got married and began a near 15-year period of our lives as DINKS (dual income, no kids).
It was a great time. Sundays were a late brunch, with the New York Times in one hand, a Bloody Mary in the other. Sundays began late of course, because Saturday nights were spent in Greenwich Village pubs with our large web of friends. The rest of our weekend was spent in pursuit of movies and music. For those of you who appreciate 70s punk and 90s grunge, two fond memories I have from my early 20s were getting stuck in a mosh pit as Joey Ramone (RIP; www.youtube.com/watch?v=agzIcrmg5mY) jumped on stage in a club in Trenton and listening to pre-fame Smashing Pumpkins in a club in Hoboken with a capacity of around 75, including the bar staff.
Of course, a few times each year we would travel as only DINKs can. In Botswana, we sat on top of our safari jeep sipping beers and watching the sun set over the plains. In Thailand, we scaled the 309 steps to reach Wat Doi Suthep (a monastery) and receive a blessing from a Buddhist monk. After a full's day hike in the Andes, we walked through the Puerta Del Sol to look 1500 feet below at the lost ancient city of Machu Picchu (since found by a herd of tourists and trekkers). We only had two travel rules: we never went to the same place twice (Paris and Rome were exceptions) and travel budgets were for wimps.
Then on March 29th 2004, on the eve of Ranen's arrival into our lives, we realized our days as DINKs had come to an end. Don't get me wrong, we were very eager to become parents. Its just that after 20 years of doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted to, having kids came as a bit of a shock. Gone were the days of dining out 4-5 times per week. Babies needed to be in bed by 7pm (apart from Gideon, who never goes to sleep). My IPod suddenly had a section for kids filled with English nursery rhymes. We gave up on movies all together, since we only go out one night each we
ek and it seems a little silly to spend it staring at a screen for two h
ours. As for travel, the days of exotic, manic trips around the world have made way for unexotic, especially manic ones. No more driving the Garden Route in South Africa staying in different inns every night. These days it’s a 2-hour drive to the Dorset Coast to a place with a nice kitchen and access to a local pharmacy. And while we still think budget travel is for wimps, our money is spent making the travel a little easier, like an occasional purchase of Virgin Upper Class seats (with some help from my infinite amount of air miles) on our visits to the US (the pictures show the boys enjoying their seats!)This is where Steve Jobs comes in. In 1986, after losing a power struggle with Apple, Jobs acquired the computer graphics division of LucasFillm, Ltd for $10 million. Shortly afterward the company was renamed Pixar. In 1995, Pixar went public for $140 million and released its first full-length animated feature, Toy Story. Pixar probably had no idea it was about to revolutionize the animated film business and along the way make the transition to parenthood for film, music and travel-loving DINKs like me a little easier. Back in 1995, animated film was nearly dead – accounting for less than 1% of US film revenues. By 2008, that share had jumped to 10%. Pixar was the undisputed leader and main driver of the rise. (Pixar sold itself to Disney for $7.4 billion in 2006).
While the amazing computer graphics played a part in Pixar’s success, their real "secret" is the movies are incredibly appealing to parents and kids alike. The stories are funny and complex – in ways 5-year old don’t always understand, nor does it matter. Pixar was also the first to attract big actors to star in animated films. Tom Hanks played the lead role in Toy Story. And Paul Newman’s last acting role was as Doc, a retired racing car in Cars. These days, Hollywood stars fight over animated film roles. Pixar even recognized the power of the soundtrack. Indeed, I am happy to admit I have most of the songs from Cars on my IPod. I told Ranen I bought them for him, but I was fibbing.
So while Steve Jobs will be remembered by most for the way he revolutionized media industries, those early-in-life DINKS and later-in-life parents like me owe him a special thanks. Sure I no longer spend my weekends in search of music and movies or travel to exotic places. But the IPod has allowed me to rekindle my love of music – and create a budding interest in music in the boys. As for movies, I can't think of a better past time on a rainy London day than sitting on the sofa with Dina and the kids and reciting almost every line of a Pixar movie (check out the video below as Gideon gives his best impression of Tom Hanks as Woody). And when we do travel, I have our Pixar library ready to pop into the portable DVD player to keep the kids occupied while Dina and I sip a glass of Virgin Upper Class champagne!
Am I nostalgic for my days as a DINK? Sure, sometimes I am. But I wouldn’t give up my current life with Dina and the boys for anything - especially when you have guys like Steve Jobs around to make it a little easier.
A Scranton Boy In Chelsea
P.S. I haven’t totally given up my DINK life. I wrote most of this story on a 3-day trip to Vienna with Dina ohne kinder (without children, for the Scrantonians). Even better, this is the first blog written on my new MacBook Pro - my conversion to Apple is nearly complete!
